Tuesday, 14 July 2009

The trouble with language

Political leaders are supposed to be brilliant communicators, but if you consider the things said by George Bush, you might wonder which planet he is on. Except for the time when he said, “You can fool some of the people all of the time … and those are the ones you have to concentrate on.”

And as I was thinking about language complications, I remembered the difficulties that some very large companies have had with language.

It’s well known that when Coca Cola first ventured into China, the company had the name written phonetically in Chinese characters. They forgot that there are a number of quite different dialects in China, and in one dialect, Coca Cola meant Bite the Wax Tadpole.

Pepsi had a similar false start. The company decided to stick with their international slogan, Come Alive with Pepsi. Unfortunately, that translated into Chinese as "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave".

In Ireland there is a whiskey liqueur called Irish Mist. It is now available in 60 countries. But when they first entered the German market, sales were disappointingly low. What they hadn’t realised was that ‘mist’ is a German slang word for ‘dung’. There wasn’t a huge demand for Irish dung in Germany.

Exam papers are rich in twisted thinking. From the exam papers of medical students in America, we learn that Bacteria means the backdoor to a cafeteria, terminal illness is fall ill at the airport, and Dilate means to live long.

Exams for the Indian Civil Service have always provided a stream of answers that cannot be faulted for their logic, but which try the patience of the examiners. Some of the answers simply indicate that the candidate has understood the question in quite another way.

Here are some examples:

Question: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea, what will it become?
Answer: It will sink. Simple as that.

Question: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
Answer: It is not a problem as you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Question: what happened when the wheel was invented?
Answer: It caused a revolution.

And finally,

Question: How can you drop a raw egg on a concrete floor without cracking it?
Answer: Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Another fruitful source of mental gymnastics is broadcast quizzes. You really have to wonder if some of the contestants have their brains in sideways.

On BBC Radio Newcastle, Paul Wappat asked, How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?

After a long pause, the contestant said, Fourteen days?

On Rock FM, the Presenter asked: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo Da Vinci.

The contestant replied, Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

My brother sent me a story about the famous fictional cowboy, The Lone Ranger, who had a Red Indian partner or companion called Tonto. (Actually, it’s hard to put a name on their relationship without making it sound like they were both gays.)

Anyway, according to the story, the Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto woke the Lone Ranger and said, “Kemo Sabe, look towards the sky and tell me what you see.”

The Lone Ranger whose nickname meant The One Who Knows, replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What means that?” said Tonto.

The Lone Ranger thought for a moment, then he said, “Astronomically, it means there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it means Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we are in for a fine day tomorrow.

What does it mean to you, Tonto?”

Tonto said, “You are dumber than a buffalo. It means someone stole the tent.”

So you see, it all depends on your point of view. And I got a fine example of that in a sermon I heard in church the other day. This is the story.

An English lady vicar was due to visit Switzerland for the first time, and she didn’t know what to expect. She was particularly concerned about the toilet facilities, so she wrote and asked. Being English, she didn’t like to be too direct, so she asked if there would be a WC available to her.

Her Swiss host did not understand what a WC was, so he consulted a colleague, and together they decided it probably stood for Wayside Chapel. So he wrote back saying, “There is a very fine WC located in the nearby woods. It is large enough for about 200 people, and if there are more, the men will be standing.

"As a matter of fact, I met my wife in that WC when we were both attending a baptism ceremony there. The water is very special and if you are lucky enough to get some of it on your hands you won’t want to wash them for the rest of the day.

"I think you will enjoy the experience very much. Please let me know if it interests you and I shall reserve for you the very best seat where you can be seen by everybody.”

So you see, you may know what you want put across, but the other person my receive something different. That’s The Trouble with Language.

If you'd like help with the right language, contact me at: phillip@pkp.co.uk

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Oz turned me upside down

I was in a shop today and paid for my purchase with a handful of coins. The shop assistant picked up the small silver coin marked 5, turned it over and saw the Queen's head. Satisfied, she said, "Oh it's just a different design." I took the coin back and replaced it with a 5p coin and said, "Sorry, that's an Australian 5 cent coin."

The two are very similar in size and appearance, but if you look closely you will see the word "Australia" on the front. The English coin has D.G.Reg.F.D. and is fractionally smaller.

With the Ashes series about to start, the incident got me thinking about the similarity between the Brits and the Aussies. They may be superficially similar, but they are fundamentally different and therefore not interchangeable.

Something else that is different is my perception of Australia and Australians. The reason I had that coin in my pocket is that I have recently returned from my first ever visit to that country. I was in Sydney, Brisbane and the wine country, and was amazed at the beauty of the country and the friendliness of the people.

I found Australia breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly clean. I also encountered none of the brashness I had expected, nor any of the aggression that marks their performance on the playing field. I'll put that down to extreme competitiveness, an attribute I usually applaud.

My impressions of Oz have been turned upside down!

Sunday, 28 June 2009

The Empty Train

The Empty Train


The empty train crept down the track,
It slid into the station.
Eight coaches long, from front to back,
It raised our expectations.

It paused, then rolled reluctantly
Towards the eight-coach mark.
We raised our heads expectantly
But every coach was dark.

Unlit inside, unwashed outside,
A nightmare, not a dream,
The prospect of a grisly ride,
Unlike the age of steam.

It shuddered, squealed, then suddenly
It picked up speed once more,
And scorning us quite openly,
It opened not one door.

The people stood and watched it go
In silent resignation,
Their Monday morning spirits low –
Commuters know their station.

10 Tips On Using Business Cards

1. Exchanging business cards should ALWAYS be done with respect and decorum, whichever country you are in. It is so easy to make a cultural gaffe.

2. In Asia, offering and receiving cards is a very formal ceremony and, in a formal meeting, the cards are kept on display during the meeting. It is a good idea to place the cards you receive in a pattern that corresponds to where each person is seated, so that you can use the correct name.

3. In Asia, never casually offer your card with just one hand. Hold your card with both hands when you give it, and bow slightly.

4. Always pass it the right way up so the other person can read it immediately. This shows consideration for the other person.

5. Show respect when you receive a card by using both hands. Especially in the Far East. Look at it, study it, then put it away or on the table carefully. Do not put it into your back (hip) pocket. (Equally, do not offer an Oriental a card taken from your wallet in your back pocket.)

6. Don't write on other people's business cards

7. The Japanese like photographs on cards. These are beginning to become common in the US and UK. It is worth putting your photo on your own card -- using the same photograph as you might have opn your website.

8. Many US/UK companies are dispensing with job titles, as they are considered unnecessary. However, titles are very important in most other cultures, so use them when abroad. They signify seniority and status, both of which are important in many countries.

9. Have supplementary information or a translation on the reverse side of your card.

10. Your card represents you, so don't use tatty or out-of-date ones. Your card conveys an impression of who you are, and is the main impression that remains when you have left.

Friday, 12 June 2009

20 Tips on international business etiquette

A Japanese proverb says...

If you are fortunate to have the enjoyable experience
of eating something new,your life will be lengthened
by seventy-five years
.

1. For many cultures part of the business deal is being an excellent host.

2. In many countries, it is customary for the host to be modest and humble; he will give apologies for inferior food etc.

3. Some cultures' greetings are 'Have you eaten (rice)?' (= How are you?)

4. Offer Koreans food 3 times: they will refuse twice and accept the third time!

5. A warm or cold wet towel, an 'oshibori', is often given to cleanse your hands. It's acceptable for men to wipe their faces with it. (Japanese restaurants rarely have napkins).

6. ALWAYS try the food you are offered. They say in Greece, you must always accept the alcohol you are given in a business meeting!!!!

7. As an honoured guest, you will be offered the most special delicacies. Unfortunately, there will be times when you think they aren't! Consider carefully your reaction - a refusal may be interpreted as an insult.

8. Some cultures, like the Japanese, have turned dining into an art form. Take care to appreciate the food you are offered in whatever culture you are in.

9. Far East - no one can leave before the guest of honour.

10. In the US, as in the UK, it is courteous to ACCEPT compliments and always polite to give compliments with 'gusto'. A simple 'Thank you' is usually enough when receiving a compliment.

11. In the Far East, humility is a virtue. It is courteous to deny compliments graciously; avoid extending excessive compliments.

12. Keep track of all favours done for you, to reciprocate in the future

13. It's an honour to be invited to play golf by your Japanese host.

14. It's an honour to be invited to the home of a Spaniard or an Arab.

15. It is generally considered good manners, in any culture, for a host to escort visitors as they leave; the distance depends on the relationship - obviously a very senior person doesn't escort a junior one very far. In Japan, a host will watch until his visitor has pulled away in the car/bus, or is out of sight.

16. For many nations, tipping is an essential part of the economy. As a guide, never tip in egalitarian societies like Finland and Iceland. Tip in societies where there are great differences in social standing. It is often better to tip a little bit every meal/day than do it 'all in one go' at the end of your stay.

17. Don't start your business presentation with a joke unless you are certain this is acceptable. Many cultures believe it shows disrespect and demeans the event.

18. Avoid touching your face with the same hand that you then offer in greeting.

19. Do not keep your business cards in your hip pocket, especially when dealing with Orientals.

20. Treat the other person's business card with respect: receive it with both hands, study it for a moment, and keep it it view during your meeting. Don't write on it.

Thursday, 11 June 2009

Why Speaking Louder and Slower Does Not Work

"Every country has its way of saying things. The importance is that which lies behind peoples' words."
Freya Stark: 'The Journeys Echo'

To understand what lies behind the words of someone from another culture, you need cultural adaptability.

In some eastern cultures it is unsophisticated to show surprise. Someone raised that way will respond very coolly to dramatic news, let alone ordinary conversation. A westerner may well imagine that he is not 'getting through', or that the easterner has not understood. The westerner is used to his listeners responding with 'Really'? and 'Oh ah!' and nods of agreement throughout the exchange, and he is uncomfortable when his oriental listener merely nods at the end to indicate, 'Message received and understood'.

We all process information differently, and the way we do so is reflected in the language we use. However, it is important to remember which came first, the mental processes or the language. Clearly, language followed the mental processes. Or rather, the way a nation uses its language indicates how its people think. The English language, for example, can be used in more ways than one. Brits and Americans use the active voice, direct speech and action verbs. The people of Malawi tend to speak and write in the passive voice, third person, and indirect speech. The Arabs have a similar approach. Same language, different attitudes.

In communicating with other cultures, cultural adaptability is more important than language skills. You need a strong willingness to understand what it is that causes the people of another culture to think and behave the way they do. You need to 'tune in'. Cultural adaptability is about switching your communication style to facilitate understanding or to make it easier to work together. You may need to accept that other cultures need time to consider what you say before agreeing or accepting. It may strike you as resistance or even discourtesy, but it may only be the normal response in their culture.

Speaking louder and slower will only make things worse.

PKP

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Lost in translation

Every time a text is translated from one language to another, something changes. If you translate back and forth between English and a a succession of different languages, you could quickly lose the sense of what you started to say.

Here's one example:

Original English Text:

With the recent launch of the ONETEAM plan the ELT and I thought it would be a good idea to create a dedicated forum to keep you updated on the progress we are making and, at the same time, each engagement team will have the opportunity, on a voluntary basis, to give an update on the progress they have made on their own engagement plan.

Translated to French:

Avec le lancement récent du plan d'ONETEAM le ELT et moi avons pensé
que ce serait une bonne idée de créer un forum dédié pour vous
maintenir mis à jour sur le progrès que nous accomplissons et, en
même temps, chaque équipe d'enclenchement aura l'occasion, sur une
base volontaire, de donner une mise à jour sur le progrès ils ont
accompli sur leur propre plan d'enclenchement.


Translated back to English:

With the recent launching of the plan of ONETEAM the ELT and me
thought that it would be a good idea to create a forum dedicated to
maintain you updated on progress that we achieve and, at the same
time, each team of interlocking will have the occasion, on a voluntary
basis, to give an update on progress they achieved on their own plan
of interlocking.

Translated to German:

Mit dem neuen Starten des Planes von ONETEAM das ELT und ich, die Gedanke, dass es eine gute Idee sein würde, ein Forum herzustellen, das eingesetzt wurde, um Sie beizubehalten, auf Fortschritt, den wir erzielen und gleichzeitig jedem Team des Ineinandergreifens änderte hat die Gelegenheit auf freiwilliger Basis zum eines Aktualisierungsvorganges auf Fortschritt zu geben sie auf ihrem eigenen Plan des Ineinandergreifens erzielten.

Translated back to English:

With the new starting of the plan of ONETEAM ELT and I to manufacture a forum the thought that it would be a good idea, which was used, in order to maintain you, on progress, which we obtain and at the same time to each team of interlinking modified has the opportunity on voluntary base to a updating process on progress to give it on their own plan of interlinking obtained.

Translated to Italian:

Con nuovo cominciare del programma di ONETEAM ELT ed I produrre una
tribuna il pensiero che sarebbe una buona idea, che è stata usata,
per effettuarli, su progresso, quale otteniamo ed allo stesso tempo ad
ogni squadra di collegamento modificata ha l'occasione sulla base
volontaria ad un processo d'aggiornamento su progresso darlo sul loro
proprio programma di collegamento ottenuto.


Translated back to English:

With new beginning of the program of ONETEAM ELT and producing a
tribune the thought that would be a good idea, that has been used, in
order to carry out them, on progress, which we obtain and at the same
time to every square of modified connection it has the occasion on the
voluntary base to a refresh process on progress to give it on theirs
just program of obtained connection.

Translated to Portuguese:

Com começo novo do programa de ONETEAM ELT e produzir um tribune o
pensamento que seria uma idéia boa, isso foi usado, a fim
realizá-lo, no progresso, qual nós obtemos e ao mesmo tempo a cada
quadrado da conexão que modificada tem a ocasião na base voluntária
a um processo refrescar no progresso para lhe dar em dele o programa
justo da conexão obtida.


Translated back to English:

With new start of the program of ONETEAM ELT and to produce one
tribune the thought that would be a good idea, this was used, the end
to carry through it, in the progress, which we gets and at the same
time to each square of the connection that modified has the occasion
in the voluntary base to a process to refresh in the progress for
giving to it just in of it the program of the gotten connection.

Translated to Spanish:

Con el nuevo comienzo del programa de ONETEAM ELT y producir una tribuna el pensamiento que sería una buena idea, esto fue utilizado, el extremo para llevar con él, en el progreso, cuáles conseguimos y al mismo tiempo a cada cuadrado de la conexión que se modificó tiene la ocasión en la base voluntaria a un proceso a restaurar en el progreso para darle apenas adentro de él el programa de la conexión conseguida.

Translated back to English:

With the new beginning of the program of ONETEAM ELT and to produce a tribune the thought that would be a good idea, this was used, the end to take with him, in the progress, which we obtained and at the same time to each squaring of the connection that modified it has the occasion in the voluntary base to a process to recover in the progress to just give inside of him the program him of the secured connection.

Que?