How to avoid bad advertising

There’s a lot of bad advertising about. If you copy it you will waste your money. Advertising is (or should be) salesmanship, pure and simple. Its function is to sell – to persuade its audience to accept the proposition and, eventually, to buy.

It is quite amazing that expensive ad agencies are turning out advertising that fails to follow the basic rules of selling, even ignoring that well-known maxim, WIIFM – what’s in it for me? Amazingly, it gets past a succession of people who should know better: from the copywriter to the creative head, to the account team and finally the advertising manager at the client end.

To see how it should be done, look at ‘direct response advertising’. It is designed to get immediate action, and its effectiveness can be readily measured. It has to answer three questions quickly: what is it, is it for me, how do I get it?

In other words, first tell me the proposition. What are you selling? Then make it relevant to me. Finally, tell me where, how and from whom I can get it. The supplier or retailer fits into the last part.

Yet, the current crop of TV commercials contains at least three that begin with the very same error. They all start with “At XYZ company we ...” And they are all big names, with big advertising budgets and a long history of advertising that should have guided their judgement. Here are their opening lines:

At Sainsbury’s all these ...
At HSBC we can help ...
At Wickes we know ...
This last is made worse by the closing slogan, “It’s got our name on it.”

The focus of all these ads is on themselves. It presumes that each of those companies has such a presence in the market that the mere mention of their names will produce a Pavlovian response from well-conditioned customers. That amounts to self-congratulation – not a good basis for selling, especially in these tough times when traditional loyalties are already being tested.

Good copywriting follows the process of persuasion. And a good copywriter knows how to sell. If you’re looking for one, let’s meet for copy.
Phillip@pkpcommunicators.com

Don't be a bore

A lot of people are boring, and don't know it. It's a bit like having BO -- no one tells you, but they quickly move away! I want to tell them, but I know I would only hurt or offend them, so I hope they will read this and take remedial action.

I have come across some really nice people who lose out because they do some of the things that mark them out as boring. So their good intentions or talents do not get noticed. It's worth being on the alert to the signs of waning interest on the part of those we meet.

I used to be guilty of capping stories. I thought I was merely extending the topic by adding my own experience, but others received it as capping stories. It took a female friend with the cojones to tell me about it. So let me help you to understand why you may not be making quite the impact you expect, when you attend networking meetings.

No offence is meant. On the contrary, if you recognise any of the symptoms, I hope you will make the necessary adjustments and become a person that others will want to talk to.

A bore is someone who:

•makes pronouncements on every subject that arises

•caps stories

•goes one better than everyone else

•talks too long

•is in love with the sound of their own voice

•pins you against the wall at parties or networking gatherings

•monopolises the conversation or another person

Above all, a bore is someone who seems not to be interested in what someone else says. Typically they will either interrupt before the other person has finished, or will ignore what has just been said and proceed with their own stuff.

The way to avoid being boring is always to be interested in what the other person is saying, and to make your own point sparingly. You can always elaborate if you are asked to do so, but never impose the elaboration on your listener. And beware of getting carried away if you are talking to a good listener who encourages to go on!

Try to be a good listener. It will help others to warm to you, and then they will want to know more about you. In business, remember that boring doesn't sell!

If you'd like help with becoming more interesting, email me: phillip@pkpcommunicators.com

Ranked with Mrs Malaprop and Spooner

A former colleague at The Reader's Digest was an Art Director in the Creative Department. Donald had an extraordinary way with words. Some of our colleagues would stuff a hankie into their mouths, with eyes streaming with tears of mirth, and rush into another office to write down some of the things he said.

Donald ranked with Spooner, Mrs Malaprop and Sam Goldwyn in his mangling of language.

He developed MS and, to raise some funds for the Multiple Sclerosis Society, and with his permission, we published a small book of Donald's collected sayings, under the title, "My Pear Tree Has Gone Bananas". If you ever got your hands on a copy, you'd have found it was "right up your cup of tea", as Donald himself once said.

When he struggled with powerful emotions, Don would mix his metaphors. Here are a few:

This job is a right swine of a cow
It's always better talking to the horse's mouth
There was a little rat on the door
I'm caught between the devil and the frying pan

Donald liked his food, and was heard to say:

Can I have the Halibut Provencale without the garlic?
I can't even remember what I had for lunch yesterday; it all goes in one ear and out the other
He comes around here and picks up all the crumbs that make up the cream

Asked about his illness, Don said:

It's all to do with the spine ... because the legs are connected to the body, and the ams are connected to the head
My legs felt like solid jelly
I feel like death rolled up
My doctor said I'm not as young as I should be

Feeling the need for emphasis, he would say:

I don't exaggerate, I do six million jobs at once
Five tenths of an inch is an inch in my language

When I coach people in the best ways to get their point across, I still remember Don calling it a disastrous success and asking, How long is a carrot?

He spoke the way he thought. Right up his cup of tea.

What would you do?

There is often a dilemma about the fees paid to and by agencies who pass work on to freelances.

Jane is a freelance trainer and was approached, the other day, by an agency who offered her a short term teaching course at a Midlands college for (say) 20 GBP per hour. When she got to the college, the Dean told her that he had not engaged the agency to fill the post, but had advertised it on Monster for (say) 40 GBP per hour. The agency had offered to provide a tutor for (say) 35 GBP per hour, so the Dean accepted.

The Dean went on to say that he was not keen on using agencies, and had other work for Jane to do, all at 40 GBP per hour, when the short term course was over.

So, the college had no contractual obligation to the agency, and Jane's commitment was for the short term course alone, at the reduced rate of 20 GBP per hour. Should she complete the course and then accept further work direct from the college at twice the money she was getting from the agency?

What would you do?

An unexpected benefit

I happened to Google my name today, just to see what came up. Among the 19,400 entries, I came across a book of mine in an unexpected place.

A website that offers Inspiration and Hope in Bereavement Counselling features my least serious book, Be the best Best Man and Make a Stunning Speech.

I think it came about because somewhere along the line, early publicity for the book sought to justify the double "Best" by adding a comma to the title. In a number of locations, it reads, Be the Best, Best Man and Make a Stunning Speech. Search engines have picked up "Be the Best" and bunged it into the self-help arena.

It is, of course, a self-help book, although of a different kind.

I wrote it almost as a dare. My publisher, HowToBooks, asked if I could do such a book and, naturally, I said Yes. Wouldn't you?

It has just been reprinted for the 10th time! I received my author's complimentary copy yesterday and re-read it. To my delight, I liked it a lot. If someone else had written it, I'd have said, "I wish I'd written that."

It contains Myths and Legends about the marriage ritual, jokes, quotations, and a killer section on the Duties of the Best Man, as well as detailed directions for the preparation and delivery of that all-important Best Man's speech.

At just £8.99 it's a steal! And worth a read even if you are not about to be Best Man. If you can't get it from Waterstone's or Smith's, email me and I'll sell you a copy.

The bare-faced cheek of an ideas-thief

Some people have the hide of a rhino when it comes to pinching the intellectual property of others! Public speakers are particularly vulnerable.

When I gave a talk about better public speaking, I used the face of a clock as a mnemonic for all the essentials. Later I was approached by a chap who told me how much he enjoyed the talk and especially the clock face idea, and he said he was going to use my idea in a speech he was planning to give soon.

I have a number of 'signature' Hooks to capture the attention of my audiences. One of them is the use of Fortune Cookies, another is the 3-rope trick. It has come to my notice that another speaker has adopted both.

Back in 1985 I created the term "microwave method" to describe my approach to training. I have seen the term in use on the internet.

My friend Paul Joslin attended a speech in the Midlands in which the speaker told a sob story that Paul had heard before in America. When he later tackled the speaker about it, the man said, "I doubt anyone in that audience had been to America, so it doesn't matter."

These are just a few examples of intellectual piracy. How would you feel if it was YOUR idea being stolen?

Did this actually happen?

I have just been sent this 'true story'. Have you seen or heard it yourself?

I wonder if it actually did take place.

It is claimed to be a true story from the Japanese Embassy in the US .

A few days back, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before visiting Washington to meet President Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hands with President Obama, please say " How r u". Then Mr. Obama should say, "I am fine, and you?" Now, you should say "Me too ". Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you."

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama, he mistakenly said "who r u?" (Instead of "How r u?")

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha... "

Then Mori replied " me too, ha-ha.. .".

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

What do you think?

PKP